I've been hacking up a lung, suffocating because I can't breathe, unusually quiet since talking hurts, sneezing like I'm in training to be the Ultimate Sneezer, and personally supporting the tissue industry. You know what that means? Yes, swine flu. It has to be. There's no other possible sickness to have anymore, H1N1 has beaten down all the other viruses/bacteria and claimed humans for itself. And swine too. Same difference? Ha! (insert punchline drum roll). The incredibly frustrating part is that I rarely get sick, much less the "sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head" kind....even less often the kind that lasts longer than a day or two.
I've been asked if I feel any better and, well, if you know about swine flu you know there is no better. It just gets worse and worse. Then you die. I'm preparing for my death. Each day I add a new symptom, while the old ones remain.
All I'm lacking is a fever & SICKNESS (i.e. nausea). Then I would definitely be on my death bed.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
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4 comments:
if you don't have a fever or nausea it doesn't sound much like the flu. is your cough filled with PHLEGM? if so, it's probably not the flu. that is what i learned in the office with circulated chain emails.
No. It's swine flu.
It's probably a tumor.
you should eat more turmeric
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