Sometimes I'll try to "turn over a new leaf".
I think I want to be a certain person, do things a certain way, have certain thoughts, beliefs, ideas.
I think about this new leaf, analyze it and figure out how best to go about getting "it".
I think I can change my entire perception of the world simply by telling myself otherwise.
And you know what inevitably becomes of this?
A realization that, well, a zebra can't change it's stripes.
That I am who/what/how/why/when/where I am.
That 23 years of xina is impossible to change.
So you know what? Fuck you and deal with it.
